The Ben Wallace Fan Page

Flip Saunders is the new Pistons coach

Ok, so my prayers for Ben Wallace to be the coach of the Pistons went unanswered, so now we have Flip Saunders.

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I mean, what sort of name is "Flip"? It reminds me of "Flipper", that stupid famous dolphin. Man, I hate dolphins, but I hate whales even more. I wish I could eat whales, that would kick ass.

On an unrelated note

I dreamed about Ben Wallace yesterday, I was walking along the streets of the city where I live, and there was this huge indoors gym with a basketball court. I peeked inside and Voila" there was Ben Wallace! Man, I was so excited, but I thought "Oh, he must be approached by a million fans a day, I'll have to be discreet.

So I walked in casually, with a sort of swagger, pretending not to recognize Ben, so I told him "Hey man, got game?", he sort of half smiled and said "yeah sure". So we proceeded to the skirmish and I got to say: Ben Wallace plays beyond anyone's imagination. I'd try to score and he'd block everything I threw at the basket. He totally owned me. But I expected that.

So I told Ben "Hey man, your face seems familiar, oh my God, you're Master Wallace". And he asked "Master Wallace?" and I said "Yeah man, you kick ass, you're the master of the universe". But he just dismissed me, you know, Ben is so humble. I wanted a picture with the master, but there was no digital camera. Ben told me it was ok, that he lived just around the corner and that I could visit him anytime I wanted, so we walked over to his place and said goodbye as if we were long-time friends.

Man, just remembering it makes me want to fall asleep again. Now, if I only could convince him of looking for some whores, that would be the perfect dream.

Now it's official

It took a little more time than I expected, but Larry Brown has officially left the Detroit Pistons, now it's time to push for Ben Wallace as head coach!

Here's the article from the Detroit Free Press.

Larry Brown leaves the Pistons: good riddance

Ok, it's almost official, here's an article from Sports Illustrated stating that Larry Brown will ditch the Pistons in the upcoming 24 hours. I especially like this passage:

The Pistons will be the most motivated team in the league next season, determined to prove that Brown received far too much credit for the players' success. If his history is a guide, Saunders will feed his new team's ambition from the first day of his tenure by giving all the credit to his new players, and in return they will be invested in making Saunders look good. Ben Wallace, Chauncey Billups and their teammates can be expected to do everything they can to show that the organization can perform better without Brown. In the end, Brown will endow the Pistons with more motivation by leaving than he ever could have provided by staying next season.

I totally agree with this guy. The only thing I don't like is that Flip Saunders is replacing Brown. So who should replace him?

Well, I'll give you a hint - he's the strongest, fastest, baddest and most intense player in any sport in any part of the universe or the heavens.

Yeah, you guessed right: Ben Wallace.

You see, Ben knows he's the best player in the NBA's long history. He never says it, because that would be Shaq-like and its totally distasteful, but we know he is. So, then he would hire me as an assistant coach, and I'd get a crazy scientist to clone him. Yeah, that's right:

Just imagine the narrator:

- Ben Wallace with the steal and the fast break,

- pass to the other Ben Wallace...

- My god, Ben totally ruined Tim Duncan's shit by running over him, looks like someone is retiring soon,

- OH MY GOOD did you see that alley oop that Wallace did assisted from the other Wallace? My god this is insane!

- Ginnobilli tries to get the ball out buy MY GOD it is stolen again by Wallace...

- but in a gesture of condolence he gives it back to Ginnobilli. Ginnobilli dribbles like shit, as he always does.

-Here comes Ginnobilli trying to hit the three BUT IT IS BLOCKED SIMULTANEOUSLY BY THREE WALLACES!

Ohhhh man, that would rock so much. I hope Joe Dumars reads this and hires me as an assitant coach.

Ben Wallace is from other world

Here's the proof:

Bonus link: You can't miss this forum thread about Big Ben's madness. Visit it, I took the first photo from there.

Cheers, Ben is the Master of the Universe!

Ben Wallace teaches future blockers

Well, it looks like Ben Wallace did attend the summer camp to teach kids basketball after all. Check out This article, and I especially liked this part:

A few players drained shots from 3-point range, others maneuvered through the defense with fancy dribbling and some dished out assists to their open teammates. After such moves, a number of kids would look for Wallace's praise, but the laid-back Detroit Pistons superstar just continued watching.

It wasn't until a small teenager, with his oversized blue jersey draping around his shoulders, picked the pocket of another player and took the ball in for the uncontested score that Wallace broke a smile and nodded his head in approval to those around him.

Oooohhh man! That must have looked amazing!, all those little brats dribbling and draining 3 points, they should attend a loser training camp, like Jordan's or Kobe's.

Those kids should read this webpage, they would know that Ben cares about defense! Haha, chumps. I wish I could go to that summer camp, I'd reject all their shots into their faces and Ben would look at me with approval. But probably I'm too old.

Or not.

Haha, since I'd be like two or three feet taller than these kids, I'd snatch all the rebounds and slam dunk alley oops in their faces (Alley-Ooping is the only way real men score). Then I'd high five Ben and we would go out drinking and looking for hoes. Oh man that would be great. Man, I can't wait to fall asleep to dream about it.

Ok, I'll shut up. But just for today.

Ben Wallace gets his bone Spurs removed

Well, here are some news for those dissing Ben because he didn't get the second consecutive championship, but if you remember Ben played the entire season with bone spurs on his feet, some kind of painful ailment that real basketball players get from jumping so much.

And Ben Wallace jumps higher than a kangaroo on a trampoline.

Well, I found out Wallace has had surgery to remove the bone spurs, just as he will surgically remove the championship from the Spurs next season. And that is an undeniable prediction that Ben will get his trophy back, so Timmy Duncan must prepared to get his ass busted! Here is the article and here's the relevant quote:

Pickett and King require that each team have players who have experience at the Division I or NBA level, which ensures a high level of play. And what could be higher than winning an NBA championship? According to Pickett, Ben Wallace of the 2003-04 champion Detroit Pistons was scheduled to attend the tournament and play with his brother's team, Kno Kname. But Wallace had to have surgery to repair an injured foot and couldn't make the trip.

Pickett, however, said has committed to the tournament in the future and will play next year.

"That would have been great for us, but we talked to him, and he said he was real sorry, but the doctor said he needed to go ahead and have the surgery," Pickett said. "But he is going to make a commitment to be here every year."