The Ben Wallace Fan Page

Ben playing with bone SPURS

So today I was watching the Spurs vs Ben Wallace -sorry, I mean, Detroit Pistons- and stupid Tim Duncan just thrashes his ankle. So he remains on the floor and waits for a pair of assistants to take him to the locker room without putting wait on his ankle.

Meanwhile Ben Wallace watches as he tolerates the inmense pain on his foot because of the bone SPURS he has which he won't operate until the end of the season because he is a real man. So, I have a proposal for the dictrionary and the medicine guys. Because of Wallace's inmense tolerance to pain and Tim Duncan's pussiness, I propose that instead of calling them bone SPURS we call them bone PISTONS. or bone stones if you please.

Then the minor injury that Duncan sustained should be called "a spur". IF you look it up at a dictionary it would say: "pretended injury you fake because you're too afraid to play Ben Wallace". And then you'd look up Ben Wallace at the dictionary and it would say:"Master of the universe". And then you'd look up Tim Duncan and it would say: "Pussy". Damn, I should work at Webster's or Oxford or something.

NBA logo: it's time for a change

The other day I was watching the Pistons ram everybody's ass on tv, then the nba's logo showed up:

If you look closely, you can see it's a mermaid. Well, not true but it looks like one. I don't know who is this stupid baller and I don't even care. Instead of a baller the logo should have a BLOCKER, and guess who's my top candidate.

Well yeah, you are right asshole, it's Ben Wallace.

And you know what? Since dribbling is for pussies like you my dear reader, dribbling would be out of the logo. It would show Ben Wallace blocking a huge shot. And Iverson would be shooting -no, better keep out ballers out of the logo-. And to remove any doubt about the Master's identity, it wouldn't use those gay colors, it would be a full color photograph of Wallace. Better yet: a face shot of him blocking. When Wallace blocks a shot, he makes a powerful face of authority and power. When I imitate his face everybody tells me "man, it looks like you blocking someone". -Well yeah, chump, that's because I'm imitating Ben Wallace.

Ben Wallace should win all those stupid awards that they give in basketball just because he's the beast: Best 6th man, best offensive player, best deffensive player, best 3 point shooter, best point guard, Most valuable player, best half-court shooter, and he should fill all the positions in the hall of fame, even the ones like "best player in 1950", because his power trascends time and space. In fact, he should be named "most powerful being in the universe for the eternity". Even god and jesus christ and Buddha, and Gandi and Bush and your mom should call him sir, or coronel for that matter.