The Ben Wallace Fan Page

Guess who's the All-Star MVP in my book...

Yeah, you're right: Ben Wallace. The master had 6 points and 4 offensive rebounds in just 15 minutes. Had he played 45 minutes he would have had 16 offensive rebounds. Besides, what's up with midget Iverson racking the MVP? He just hogged the ball all the time.

Iverson came dribbling as any normal point guard will do, but a normal point guard will pass the ball, he just:

1. Went for a mid range jumper or...
2. Tried to get to the basket, where he got fouled or passed for an assist if he couldn't get the layup.

Well, I got news for you "midget" Iverson. If I wanted to see mid range jumpers I'd have seen you in one of your terrible Philly games, and I'd prefer to stick my dick in an oven than to watch you throw a bunch of free throws in an All-Star game. Iverson had 17 scoring attempts, of which only four where successfull. Well asshole, pass the ball.

Also, what's up with than lituanian Ilgauskas? He was on-court a bunch of time, and he's as boring as hell to watch. Besides, he's balder than my penis' glands. He moved on slow 'mo. Everybody seemed to be zipping and that guy could barely move. He got a bunch of points but never on a dunk. Man, you're like 7' 3 and you don't dunk? You should get neutered, people like you don't deserve to have children.

Also, what's up with all the three-points? I got news for you NBA, basketball is all about monster dunks, not some sissies running up to the three point line clang the rim. Anyone who tried a three pointer at the all-star should be launched to a wall.

Now, back to Wallace: He had a MONSTER put back slam. Wallace goes for a hook shot and fails on purpose, just to demonstrate his power on the offensive rebound. He passes to Jermaine knowing he's a sucker and as predicted, he blows the job and the layup. Wallace appears out of nowhere and puts back the ball with such power that the stupid denver stadium almost falls down. A second tsunami would have happened had he done in it in LA. I almost wet my pants when I saw that.

Here's a second interview with Jason Terry whom I found in the public:

Mark:Well midget, how does it feel not to be in the all-star gamez
Terry:Man, I feel terrible.

Mark: well yeah, when I fucked your mom last night she told me she was ashamed of you
Terry: You fucked my mom?

Mark: yeah, anal and I came on her face
Terry: Oh man, I'm so proud of my mom!

Mark: Hah! Sucker! You thought I'd fuck a midget animal!

Ben Wallace's wife is bullshit!

Take a look at this article I read here:

Even as the games rolled on and the team began to find its balance, and Wallace began accumulating his usual gaudy rebound and block numbers, something seemed amiss. Wallace still seemed to be lagging.

Wallace knew it, but couldn't quite figure it out. Something about the energy, his energy; something wasn't right.

Then one night, after the Pistons returned home from an embarrassing loss in New Jersey, his wife, Chanda, spelled it out for him.

"She set me down one day," Wallace said. "We were having dinner and she asked me, 'What's up?' And I was like, 'Nothing. Chillin'"

"She said, 'You ain't playing like yourself. You ain't looking like you are having any fun. It's like you are out there playing just because you have to play. You are playing like it's a job. You aren't doing the things that I am accustomed to seeing you do.'"

Those words stung Wallace like a cold slap. He went back over some game film from last year and compared it to this year.

She was right. He wasn't impacting games like he had in the past.

"Any time your wife sets you down and tells you something like that, you know something's got to be wrong with you or with the way you've been approaching the game," Wallace said. "Then I come to practice the next day and coach (Larry) Brown told me basically the same thing. I knew it was definitely something I had to pick up."

The change was immediate. He showed up for the next game -- a home game against the Lakers -- in full Fear the 'Fro mode. He had a block, a steal and 10 rebounds in the first quarter.

His performance electrified the capacity Palace crowd, and started the Pistons on their way to a 103-81 rout.

In the four games since Chanda's lecture, Wallace has averaged 9.7 points, 10.4 rebounds, 3.2 assists, 1.7 steals and 2.0 blocks -- but more importantly, the Pistons have won all four games by an average of more than 20 points."

This is bullshit because it wasn't Chanda who said it, it was me! We where sitting at the table for dinner. I've got to admit Chanda prepared an excelent dinner, but I was the one who told him.

Oh the pain!

I just discovered this photo at the pistons web page:

Ha! Did it hurt Iverson? Did it hurt because you're a bitch? You like it to hurt right, *slap*!

By the way, what is Iverson doing with a pantyhose on his arm. He and Jason Terry love wearing pantyhoses all over their swanky limbs. They're so fragile, they almost seem like anorexic women.

By the way, my friend bought NBA Ballers vol3, I'll let you know how I bust his ass when he tries KG against the master.

Is the Shaq better than Wallace?

So the voting results for the All-Star game are out, and Ben Wallace is bench to the Shaq. Stupid fans, they know nothing about blocks and rebounds. Man, I sure hope Wallacy gets pissed off and shoves Paul Pierce in the face like he did with Artest. That would be an All-Star worthy appearance.

Also, why are they making a dunking contest? That's so stupid, they should make a blocking contest. Paul Pierce would dribble down the lane and go for a layup, and Ben Wallace would "accidentally" swat his head past the third row. Then he'd take off his shirt and show his enourmous traps and the public would go wild. Artest would then enter the arena, clad with a loser spandex bikers, with no manly bulk showing through. He'd throw some random jabs to fans along with Jermaine and Jackson. But Wallace would come to the rescue.

He'd grab artest by the neck and throw him against Jermaine and Jackson, they would fall down like pins. Then someone would pass a beer cup to wallace and he'd throw it down at them. Then we laughed. Really hard.