The Ben Wallace Fan Page

Garnett for the Wallaces my ass

Damn, what are these people smoking? I want some:

Crazy rumors say Flipper wants to exchange the Wallaces for the world's biggest cocksucker: Kevin Garnett.

Man, this is so wrong on so many levels because:

1. Ben Wallace is 100x times than Garnett, how do I know? Well, I've played NBA Ballers a lot with my midget friend and I won 99 out of 100 games. And I lost that one game because my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob while playing.

2. Garnett is the world's biggest ball hog. Ever wondered how the Timberwolves, having supposedly the "statistically best player" in the league, can't have a decent season? Well the reason is that son-of-a-bitch Garnett. He doesn't pass the ball. Even I could have great statistics in the NBA if I kept the ball for myself.

3. Garnett skipped college. Master Wallace is a studied criminal justice. If he hadn't gone to the NBA he would be a DEFENSE attorney, just like he is a DEFENSE master in the league. If Garnett hadn't gone to the NBA, he would give blowjobs in a dark alley for 25 cents.

4. Musculature is everything in the NBA, and Ben has like ten times more muscle than Garnett.

5. Garnett is the sorest player in the world. Just take a look at this news article:

Rickert, 21, scored several times with the 6-foot-11 Garnett guarding him. Several other players began to "tease" Garnett about being outplayed, according to a source. When Rickert scored again, Garnett struck him without warning.

Man, Ben would never punch another teammate, sure, he'd love to butch Ron Artest, but that's another story.

Posted by Mark at August 6, 2005 10:09 AM