some weeks ago I was watching the shameful performance of the US team during the olympics. I guess everybody knows the reason behind their failure: Ben Wallace. Master Ben was the first person contacted by the olympic comitee, and at first he accepted, but declined when he saw the stupid ballers he was gonna play with. Marbury, Iverson, Odom and company are just a bunch of pussies who don't know how to block or rebound. I would have expected more from coach Larry Brown, being Wallace's coach at Detroit.
But then I had a great idea, let's make Wallace assistant coach. But I couldn't stand the idea of Wallace being just a second opinion, so I decided to kick out Brown and make him coach. But then he wouldn't have enough weight to buy the players with which he's supposed to play: Kirilenko, Theo Ratliff, Chris Webber and all the rest of the great blockers (KG is not included in this category). So he would buy the team and he'd be the ruthless dictator of the Pistons (kicking out Dumars in the process too).
Then he'd fill all the positions with great blockers, he'd kick Russell's ass and he would get more championship rings than fingers on his hands and toes on his feet. Including a cock ring.
But that's not all: he'd then run for president of the US and all state-sponsored education would be discarded in order to teach the only two important abilities in life: blocking and rebounding. Kids would be in school all day learning defense, just to be as cool as Ben Wallace is. Then, as the US rises to new and unexpected heights as Wallace rules the country, he'd be elected for ruler of the world. Then Predators would come as they do every 100 years and they'd admire his blocks so much, he would be made ruler of the universe. Kirilenko will be his counsealor. Oh boy, I can't wait for that day to come.
Posted by Mark at September 18, 2004 03:02 PM