October 08, 2005
Improptu Interview with Gary Payton
So the other day I was walking down the mall and Gary Payton was doing some shopping, I wanted to stop by to do some trash talking and humiliation, it went something like this:
Hey Gary, you mo…
Huh? Someone finally recognized me!
Well yeah chump, that’s because nobody cares about you
Oh, you’re here to insult me, well, carry on.
Hahaha, well, yeah, I am. Let me tell you your mom give some excellent handjobs
Well, that’s because you haven’t tried my handjobs. Ever wondered why they call me “the glove”?
Man, that’s sad. I thought it was because you were good at steals, but now that I think about it, Master Wallace steals much more than you do, asshole
Don’t talk about Ben Wallace, I hate him because he stealed my championship ring when I was with Lakers.
Excuse me? You practically handled the ring in a silver platter with your crappy playing
Well, Miami is now so loaded with Superstars that we’ll win even if I play crappy (which I always do).
Well, the only ring you’re gonna get is a cock ring pounded into your ass by Master Wallace, have a nice day [not]
[Gary Payton extends his hand, denied].
October 02, 2005
Amare knows his place, but he doesn't know his future
Arizona Central has a remark about Amare Stoudamire. I like the guy, he's a good student of Master Wallace. This is what he had to say about the master:
"Who is the toughest matchup for you?"
Stoudemire is always stupefied, part of him not wanting to give ground to a foe and part legitimately puzzled to think of an answer.
"Ben Wallace," Stoudemire eventually offered, "because he's a lot stronger than me. But it's going to be a different story this year.".
Well you're right Stoudy, Ben Wallace isn't just a lot stronger than you, he's also more handsome. He can get more chicks and beat the shit out of you just with his enormous dick. And no, it won't be any different this year. Just bow to the master and ask for his forgiveness